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Paradoxic
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Country: United States
State: Kentucky
Birthday: 8/25/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Gaming, gaming, gaming, and oh yeah, gaming. :P But I also love technology in general, and I love modding my computer (just got a new case with a window in it! :D), astrology, the lovelyness that is the Internet, graphic editing programs (especially 3D ones like Bryce), fantasy/science fiction, and mythology. I like games like Final Fantasy 6, Morrowind, Neverwinter Nights, Half-Life, Deus Ex, XIII, and Ultima Online (I have some experience helping run a shard! :)).
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
6/6/2003
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| If anyone cares, here is my LiveJournal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/desven | | |
| I haven't posted in a million years, I know.  But Happy New Year to all, and I have a new bloggie now: http://silrathiel.1up.com Go look at it, and bask in its shiny glory. 
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| I'm not dead, though I feel like it sometimes. 
Things are going alright with my boyfriend and I...I kinda wish some things would change, but oh well. I'm happy anyway. 
I still don't like my EKU classes, they are still hell. Except astronomy....it seems to be the only class I actually enjoy. I love the people here still though, and I did fun stuff with them like going through an interesting D&D campaign as a halfling druid.
I bought Christmas presents for all the happy people in my life. ^.^ I'm not saying what they are, because they all read this! Sorry if I got your hopes up, guys.
As for what I will be getting for Christmas, it will definitely be Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines and a new hard drive, probably either 80gb or 120gb, it depends. My boyfriend will hopefully get me Half-Life 2 (yay!), and I dunno what other peoples will get me, I don't really expect anyone else except Kyle to get me something...though I have a feeling I may be pleasantly surprised. 
Going to go listen to more Shadows Fall and the new U2 cd...later. | | |
| I think it is a clear sign you need sleep when you start writing Wing
Commander and Stargate into your Astronomy notes....while
semi-conscious from fatigue... 
I think that is all that needs to be said about my current state of mind... o.O
Well, other than I got a new boyfriend...again. :/ He
couldn't put as much time as he wanted into it, so we thought it was
best just to be friends again. Then someone on campus asked me
out, so I figured why not.
He seems nice, and we have tons in common......mew...I want a good,
stable relationship so badly...and a hug...hugs are nice.
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| Great...I feel like shit again. Anyone noticing a pattern
here? :/ I really think I am suffering from clinical
depression, and need to get help....but finding the motivation to
do so is my problem...... I
miss everyone, and want to spend time with them, but can't....I haven't
talked to my boyfriend since he left....I feel alienated from my
friends here, and I feel scared that I won't be a very good
girlfriend....I can't enjoy much of anything when I feel this way, not
even video games.....
I want to drop a class or two and just....look after myself, and try to
get out of this rut I seem to keep falling into. But I can't....I
was only able to carry 12 credit hours since I couldn't find any
classes I wanted/needed that I could add.......I dunno, I am just so
miserable half the time...I want to spend time with people, but I feel
unwanted......why can't I quit feeling like this?
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